"Did You Adopt Her?" and Other Mildly Racist Statements About Interracial Babies

If you have interracial babies, you'll understand the gaggle of questions and comments from strangers that always seem a tad...racist. Things like:

Did you adopt him/her?

What a cute Oreo baby!

S/he's so pretty for a mixed baby!

[insert race here] babies always make the most beautiful children! Lucky you! 

Okay, fuck you? What does my daughter's race have anything to do with who she is as a person? can't you just say she's pretty and move along? I'm a little over having to explain that my half-Japanese daughter is actually mine. Let me tell you a couple stories involving these kinds of people - both, coincidentally, are at different Wal-Mart locations.


 I'm standing in line, Beansprout in tow. This older lady is behind us in line with a large cart and 4 small items (already possibly a little stupid). She starts making random comments about babies to me that I really don't care about because I'm focusing on Beansprout pulling my hair. She, of course, proceeds to ask me if she's Asian; I say that she is. Of course, this is followed by, "Did you adopt her?"

I'm not all-too pleased about hearing things like this. Does she think it's physically impossible for Asian men to procreate with any other race? Does she think Asians are some sort of ninja society full of incest and kung fu? She then explains that she asked because lots of people adopt Asian babies from places like China, Cambodia, etc. This wouldn't have bothered me, except I don't look nearly old enough to adopt a baby. I'm a twenty-two year-old who has to constantly prove she's not fifteen. Like I said, possibly a little stupid.

Then, the slightly funnier story. Beansprout on my hip, just grabbing a couple things. The cashier asks me if she's "mine"; to which I reply, "Nah, the Chinese will sell anything on Amazon."
This lady looks horrified by my obvious joke. It doesn't register until I start laughing.

So, yeah. please stop assuming kids who don't match the race of one of the parents that the child is adopted. Please. Stop. Asking.

A Mild Introduction: A Campaign of Shots and Awesome.

So, it's come to my attention that after having a daughter, I am slowly beginning the transformation into my mother. Before my mother reads this and starts to ask me why that's a bad thing, I'm here to tell you two things:

1. It is the most awesome thing.

My mother is a dynamo. She raised two kids (3 if you count the living rot that is my father) by herself, made sure the bills got paid (even if it meant eating pb&j for a few weeks), and was the most creatively encouraging person you'll ever encounter. She's crazy (the fun kind you invite to parties, not the kind you have escorted out of the party by the cops). She is outspoken. She is a free spirit. She is kind of a nerd. She is all of the best parts of my personality. I aspire to be her, along with all of the women who raised her, and the women who raised the women who raised her.

2. It is the most terrifying thing.

In most cases, I would not mind becoming my mother. She works her ass off and still assumes she's lazy. She's the reason all of the free samples keep showing up at my house. She has put up with my angtsy teenage crap, and then my sister's shortly after (Sorry, sissy! I still love you!). The reason it's terrifying is because it is inevitable, and the unknown fact of how much of her will be passed on to me...and if that means I will no longer be my own person.


One thing is certain: raising a nine month-old on my own is both the most difficult and most rewarding thing in my life. It's like falling in love with a new person every month, because she changes so drastically - like a little human roller coaster. As she changes, so do I. I gain (and lose) a new level of patience with each day. I learn how to teach my boyfriend how to parent, even though I'm still winging it. I learn to let. shit. go. I'm really proud of how far I've gone from the day she was born until now...and I'm really proud of turning into my mother. Now, if I could only figure out how her cookies are so perfect...